In any case, due to the large quantity of blahlads this year a few of the “wouldn’t look twice” entries actually become ones to watch….
It’s worth jumping on one or two of these ponies…
Slovenia
Dubstep hits Ljubljana and lovely Slovene Hannah goes hardcore with a bit of dance floor thumper. In other years this would not really rate but due to the lack of great pop and dance entries this year if Hannah’s staging turns the strobe lights to “fit inducing” and she adds some near naked buff boy backing dancers giving their pound of flesh she’ll give herself a shot at the final.
Black Caviar Rating – 6/10
Malta
With #browvision well and truly on trend this year for any male entrant worth his chaff Gianluca Bezzina has made sure his brow comb will be with him in Malmo. His entry beat cherub like Kevin Borg in the Maltese national final to win a glittery ticket to Malmo and the Summery “Tomorrow” will enliven a fairly bleakish second Semi Final.
Black Caviar Rating – 7/10
Switzerland
1. Takasa perform 2nd to last in Semi Final 2 and this late run should allow for some earworming into voters memories
2. Takasa includes the oldest contestant (at 95) to ever participate in the competition performing on stage - bless and cue the novelty vote
3. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah – an essential Eurovision chorus
Black Caviar rating 8/10
San Marino
Well Valentina Monetta must have been using last year as a dry run as she's decided to get serious this year. Her “Social Network Song”, which was only performed the once in Baku, delivered her states best result and featured some of the best lines of the competition in 2012 – “You wanna have cyber sex again?” No, I don’t but thanks.
This year Ms Monetta has chucked everything at the fan with her entry “Crisalide” and it’s gonna spray glitter. Essentially we've got a ballad, in Italian, with a smidge of operatic flair that transforms into a massive dance anthem in the last 30 seconds (sorry, what?) and delivers a cracking key change (drink!). Set wind machine to cyclonic and this will not only qualify but becomes a rank outside chance to win the whole thing.
Black Caviar rating 9/10
Georgia
Georgia's entry “Waterfall” is a Disney ballad on steroids. There’s strings, soaring vocals, clichés aplenty and two singers not afraid to dial up the cheese – the jury is going to LOVE this. Positioned late in the second semi will ensure this floats into qualification. Georgia are surely heir apparent to Azerbaijan and their placing in the final will be determined by which berth it lucks into.
Black Caviar rating 8/10
