For Whom the Coffin Bell Tolls

Arguably the most spectacular Cemetery in all of Europe Highgate Cemetery has to also be one of the most value-for-money experiences in London. A short tube ride out of the city (Northern Line, stop at Highgate) and then a short stroll up to Highgate High St you quickly come upon the imposing gates of the “off-limits” West Cemetery and the less imposing payment booth of the easily accessible East Cemetery (where Karl Marx and Douglas Adams to name but a few are having a nap).

Opening in 1839 Highgate’s West Cemetery is a sprawling mass of tombstones, vaults and towering trees. A 2nd cemetery – the East – was opened some 15 years after the West. The West was closed in 1975, as the grounds had fallen derelict due to awful neglect, but reopened to the public only a few years back. It has been painstakingly and lovingly resorted to become a glorious working cemetery again by the Friends of Highgate Cemetery (claps). The West Cemetery is only accessible via a guided tour (on the hour) whilst the East Cemetery is easily accessible for a small fee and you can wander for hours amongst the graves if you are so inclined. However, I was here to see the grand majesty of the set of many a Hammer Horror film...the West Cemetery. The day was gorgeous with the dappled sunlight stripped away all of the potential eeriness of the setting and showcased the gardens (both stone and wood) in spectacular fashion. For a meagre 7 pounds our guide (who was full of extra stories when prompted) took us on an amble through the forest of the dead as she sprouted her best tour monologue. I particularly liked the stories of the graves of Mr Cruft (he of the dog show fame) who we were told actually hated dogs and was a cat person and his namesake dog show was created as a sponsorship and marketing wagon for his pet food business. Not to mention the story of the family tomb where some clever individual inscribed ENTRANCE on the front. Mmm – no exit then? Other facts that I learnt from our guide...

• The three stone steps on which the headstone is placed represent the three core values of Christianity (the largest and base step being Charity...oooh, like the Dingle from Emmerdale)

• That, for an extra fee, if you were to be entombed above ground in a vault you could have an exterior bell attached to your coffin which led to a little rope inside for you to pull just in-case there’d been a mistake regarding your mortality (I do a love mitigation plan)

• That Christopher Lee did indeed make several vampire Hammer House Horror films in the grounds of the West Cemetery which led to locals actually believing that the cemetery was haunted by the undead (bless!) ..and all this for less than 10 quid! Bargain.

My Favourite Martian

Well, London has turned on some of the best weather for April in 30 years...apparently Thursday was the hottest day on record for the month of April (a whopping 23 degrees) – so just like the entirety of Melbourne’s summer this year then? No complaints – I love the crisp mornings and evenings and the beautiful cloudless skies during the day have persuaded Londoners to strip off, embrace the flip flops and adopt the most pleasant demeanours. Let the sunshine in indeed!

Embracing my inner Whovian geek I toddled off to The Doctor Who Experience at Olympia 2, London first thing this morning and I had high hopes for the experience and I wasn’t disappointed. WHOA how cool was it to walk through the TARDIS door and enter the console room.

The experience is really only 4 rooms but I was completely absorbed by the entire experience. I was also really, really happy that Matt Smith’s Doctor narrated the duration of the show and there was no trace of crappy Amy Pond anywhere (well almost no trace). By far the best room was the Dalek room...the kids on our tour were genuinely scared of the tinpots – funny to watch little kids cowering behind their parents. Ahhh Who how I love you. The 3D show at the end was also pretty special – the Weeping Angles were made for a 3D experience – and was a nice fitting homage to Series 5. My only complaint is that the “Experience” is only a Series 5 Experience. There’s little in the “Experience” that references either David Tennant or Christopher Eccleston’s stints as the Doctor...which is potentially a missed opportunity.

The exhibition after the experience was really the highlight of the show – whether it was the costumes of all the Doctors...

... or My Favourite Martins...The Ice Warriors...

... or the scariest monsters from the new series – The Scarecrow...

...or some favourites from the 4th Doctor Era – is that a Zygon in your pocket?

I’m sure the weather knows there’s a Royal Wedding in the offing and appears to be doing its best at hinting that it might play ball for Willy and Katie’s special day. From the amount of memorabilia that’s around the place you really can’t escape the “excitement”. So what better way to celebrate than with a trip to Buckingham Palace.

How to quell the excitement...what about a ride on the London Eye? Sure, why not? Although I did not think I was afraid of heights (hello! Sears Tower, Seattle Needle etc etc) the experience in the Eye is somewhat disconcerting. A couple of times I found myself edging toward the safety of the centre of the pod (with the scared little children) and never really felt comfortable for the entire go-round. However, the view really made up for any discomfort experienced.

Finally, a bit of shopping on Oxford St including an obligatory trip into Selfridges and the day is done...and I have not even mentioned Emmerdale once (whoops!).

Keep Down and Stay Calm

Castles, Stone Circles and a guest spot on Emmerdale Farm - my UK adventure is nearly here (see map for attached). Travel commences Thursday April 14! Watch out United Kingdom. Shuttup!

2nd Semi Final Predictions

1. Azerbaijan – Drippy but Safe
2. Armenia – Fruity but Safe
3. Denmark – its’s a Perfect Match
4. Ireland – Boring but Safe
5. Israel – Another Male SuBo
6. Sweden – Watch my Guitar trick
7. Turkey – Pide anyone?
8. Lithuania – Vilneus in 2011?
9. Croatia- Femineneminemen
10. Georgia – Another Female SuBo

1st Semi Predictions

Entries to Qualify from the 1st Semi Final…

Slovakia – the Wood Nymph
Belgium – James Blunts Flemish Cousin
Greece – Woof!
Iceland – A Double D Diva
Moldova – Opening Act
Albania – 3rd Times the Charm?
Serbia – Androgyny Express
Latvia – Lucky She’s in this Semi
Russia – Praise the Lord for County Block Voting
Malta – Don’t Blink!

The Late Money?

So, which entries are emerging as this year’s Dark Horses?

Belgium – Tom Dice – Me and My Guitar

Tom Dice is Belgium’s answer to James Blunt…now before you run screaming for the hills it’s in a good way not in a creepy scary way. The song is a simple acoustic number and the sentiment avoids falling into Bluntism blandness. This will qualify as it’s in the weaker of the semi-finals and don’t be surprised if it polls well inside the Top Ten. With this years crop of male SuBo’s Tom Dice may be a nice little Jason Mraz/ James Blunt inspired remedy to all the Disney moments. Belgium will finally break it’s run of being dumped from the final and will return to form. He's no stranger to competition as he finished 2nd in 2008's Flemish X Factor. Roll the dice. Darkhorse Top 5 finish.

Sweden – Anna Bergendahl – This is My Life.

I’m not 100% convinced by this little Swedish poppet with her guitar but she’s shortening in the odds. There’ll be a special little trick on the night that will have the audience going…”how did she do that?”…and she’ll be rewarded with a place in the final on the trick alone. She is in the tougher Semi Final (#2) but she’s very sweet and the song jaunts along even if it does not really go anywhere. Like last years Popera offering this is a risky choice veering away from catchy power pop and will see her finish in the bottom half in the final.

It’s going to be a close run thing, as a clear-cut favorite has not emerged. Betting would indicate that the winner will be from Azerbaijan, Germany, Israel and Denmark but one powerhouse performance on the night could see a roughie get up.

All Roads Lead to Oslo (as the airports may be closed)

Yes, it’s that time of year again…where a killer key change, a swathe of slinky backing singers or a unexpected costume reveal could lead you on the road to Eurovision glory. Even with Europe in financial turmoil this little song competition marches into its 55th year and even with the threat of Volcanic ash potentially closing down more European airports the show will go on.

Hold onto your mirror-balls here are my predictions for Eurovision 2010.

My Top 3

Denmark – In a Moment Like This – Chanee &N’Evergreen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPzXy-iHVgA&feature=related

This duo could easily take top place this year – it’s got everything a little pop gem needs. Both leads are glam Eurovision perfection – the male appears to be the love child of Michael Bolton and Owen Wilson and the female looks like she’s stepped off the set of the defunct Cashmere Mafia. The set is reminiscent of Perfect Match or Blind Date – who does not love a slide away reveal? And did I mention the key change…wanna know, wanna know, wanna know….if we’re off to Copenhagen in 2011. Definite Top 3 finish.

Norway – My Heart is Yours – Didrik Solli-Tangen

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=eurovision#p/u/69/B7cf9IVvovE

The return of the fiddle…there’s 5 in this act. According to the official Eurovision website Didrik was born on a summer day in the town of Porsgrunn …not sure what this has to do with anything but the boy can sing. He’s an attractive early twenty-something SuBo. The song takes a little while to warm up but when it does it’s GOLD. If Alexander Rybak can win Eurovision with his fiddle the immensely cuter Didrik could walk away with the top honours with this Disneyesque ballad & his five fiddlers. A return trip to Oslo could well be on the cards. Top 5.

Slovakia – Horehronie – Kristina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kghCqyMLPFA&feature=related

This is one of my personal favourites. This Slovakian wood nymphette is radiant as she emerges from hiding behind her backing dancers that are dressed as trees…ahhh, only in Eurovision. The song is boppy and Estonia’s entry last year proved that you can place highly singing in your own language. + the pronunciation of the title could be construed as something a little naughty in English. Bless! She’ll qualify for the final. I’m hoping for a Top 10 finish.

The Bookies Favourites

Germany – Satellite - Lena

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QSgNM9yNjo

This is odds on to take the top prize – which would be huge considering Germany has languished in the bottom quarter of the results for the best part of the last decade or so. I’m not convinced though…apparently she’s Germany’s version of Lily Allen (is that a good thing?) but the song is not engaging. I’d love for Eurovision to return to the homeland but I need a bit more convincing before I jump on the Lena bandwagon. It’s a huge hit in Europe already so it’ll poll and place Top 5 at worst. Berlin for 2011?

Azerbaijan – Drip Drop – Safura

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU4AVBHjXgU&feature=related

Drip Drop? Yep, that’s the name of Azerbaijan’s entry. This entry will definitely poll well but to be the shared odds on favourite to win is a bit rich. She’s cute but the song is…well…wet. Apparently she’s also been rehearsing with a lot of material (actual textiles) so she may be going for spectacle over substance. Not sure what happened to the backing dancers shirts either? Must still be in the laundry.

Israel – Milim – Harel Skaat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GelsXCyV5Nk&feature=related

Another SuBo ballad by another pretty boy…ho hum. The punters like this but I think that it’ll suffer from not being in English when there are other ballads this year just as good that most will understand. Two things worry me – he struggles toward the end of the song which could spell Eurovision disaster and I’m also worried about the overuse of pancake on his face – he looks a bit like a ventriloquist’s doll.

The Outsiders

Iceland – Je Ne Sais Quoi – Hera Bjork

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6dpooV4tlQ&feature=channel

Probably the most commercial entry in this years competition and with a ridiculous amount of ballads in this years line up Iceland’s Hera Bjork’s dancefloor anthem could poll well. The one obstacle that stands in her way – that pesky volcanic eruption. Europe may hold her personally responsible for the upheaval and steer clear of this good entry. We’re lucky Yohanna only came 2nd last year as no-one would be getting into Reykjavik for this year’s final if it were to be held there.

Greece – Opa! – Giorgos Alkaios & Friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-v8OPJ7lU&feature=channel

Another entry that may suffer due to the difficult situation the representative country finds itself in. Lots of lads in leather bleeting out “yaous” and “haaas” does go a long way even if the lead singer is the most unattractive of the bunch. The intro to this clip is a hilarious minute montage of the backing singers preparing themselves for what could only be a singing rumble. If you think they’re “woofing” I think you may be right. Grrrrr! Top 10 finish.

Armenia – Apricot Stone – Eva Rivas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buGOZExVf8o&feature=related

“Many, many years ago when I was a little child”…I think she must be about to sing about fruit. Yes – she is, “apricot stone’s in the frozen ground” and something about hidden in the ground from the motherland. Well, a bit of Armenian pride on show here. She’ll qualify for the final and if she can sing live she may find herself in the Top 10 thanks to the remnants of her stone fruit. BTW – she’s a hand grasper so watch for lots of air grabs on stage.

Nul Point?

UK – That Sounds Good to Me – Josh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8363R9XbGY&feature=channel

No it does not. One word. Awful. Pete Waterman wrote this – he should be shot. It’s like a rejected song from Sinita or Sonia. God, the UK are fortunate to have direct entry into the final. Josh can only hope that Heathrow will be closed due to the Volcanic ash cloud and he can avoid taking the stage.

Estonia – Siren – Malcolm Lincoln

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEcNfmuF4YA&feature=channel

One of my favourite European countries comes a cropper. Did they forget this was Eurovision? This is too left of centre for the Eurovision audience to embrace. A risky choice that won’t pay off. I bet you stop the clip at a smidge after the first minute. It’s a great film clip though.

Hand Grasp End.
Fin!