1st Semi Predicitions...

Armenia
Azerbaijan
Croatia
Hungary
Norway
Russia
Serbia
Greece
Poland
Georgia

Dogs and Monsters

Destination Loch Ness! Yes, that most famous of Lochs was our much anticipated first stop on the way through to Stirling and then Edinburgh. Again, graced with magnificent spring weather, we arrived on the shores of the Loch at the ruins of the famous Urquhart Castle. The waters of the Loch remained still and strangely calm for our entire exploration of the well-maintained ruins. The sweeping views from this 10th century stronghold are unrivalled and one can only imagine what a machinations, brutality and hedonism took place within its walls.

Arriving late into Inverness we found our B&B and after a short stroll and dinner bunked down for the night. With a big drive ahead of us the next day we made a quick sideline trip to Fort George, a working military fort approximately 10 mile out of Inverness on the way to Nairn. The fort contains fascinating memorabilia of the Scots Guard and Regiment (the Highlanders) but is very much a working military base; the chorus of practice gunfire that became our ambient music for the visit very much a testament to its “active” nature.

Weaving through the Scottish Central Highlands our next stop was the historic town of Stirling, containing the imposing William Wallace memorial and the lauded Stirling Castle. Unfortunately our B&B for this pit stop proved to be less than impressive...our first real bad accommodation experience of the trip. The shabby pink linen should have hinted at the night to come where we endured a damp, cold night after the central heating was shut off. And LP recommended this place...words will be exchanged when I return to work.

Stirling Castle, like much of many of the sites we’ve visited in the UK, was under heavy repair work with lots of scaffolding obscuring views and where entire sections were blocked off from visitors. The William Wallace Memorial was a much more memorable stop where after commencing the climb up the tower Dad opted out on floor one and Mum opting out of floor three. The steep spiral ascent finally pops you out on top of the memorial where you’re greeted with stunning views of the surrounding countryside and Stirling Castle.

Arriving late into Edinburgh on a bleak and rainy afternoon we found our way to our apartment (our resting spot for the next three nights) located just south of Old Town. Our third floor apartment proved an excellent base (although the stairs proved less than desirable with our heavy bags) for exploring this ancient capital. Edinburgh exceeded my expectations in terms of beauty where the grand cobblestoned Royal Mile houses an intricate labyrinth of closes each tempting exploration.

Edinburgh Castle proved to be one of our must frustrating experiences of the trip and even our early start did not help us escape the crowds. Once more, we were greeted with castle walls adorned with lots of scaffolding and “no go” areas. Adding to this disappointment were the 5 bus loads of Spanish tourists, all with audio guides in hand, pushing you forward in a sea of guided tour hysteria.
Needing a break from the crowds we strolled down to Greyfriar’s Kirkyard, housing the fascinating supposed haunted graveyard and the home to the memorial for Greyfriar’s Bobby (the faithful dog who spent 16 years guarding the grave of his master). Unaware that they were missing one of Edinburgh’s most fascinating historical sites the Spanish tourists remained safely tucked in the walls of Edinburgh Castle as we walked around the soaring tombstones of the Kirkyard. Luckily for us a photographer was working his way through the locked section of the graveyard, containing many “haunted” tombs, which we were privileged to explore. The macabre headstones, blackened by the soot of the city and the ravages of the elements sport angry skulls, forlorn angels and faded sorry script hinting at the how’s and when’s of the passing’s of tombs inhabitants.
Feeling a mite peckish we stopped for lunch at The Elephant House a coffee shop made famous, not only for its stunning views of Edinburgh Castle, George Heriot School and Greyfriar’s Kirkyard and Graveyard, but the cafe were J K Rowling started scribbling a story about a be-speckled boy-wizard.

After a long walk up Arthur’s Seat, to capture some fabulous shots of the city, we wandered back to the Old City via the turreted Holyroodhouse Palace, the stark and modern Parliament House and the tired Edinburgh Memorial before finding HMV where Mum purchased both versions of “Greyfriar’s Bobby”...the Disney original from the 60’s and the 2005 remake...destined to become our viewing for the evening.
But before delving into this cute Skye canine’s story it was under the city we were to go as we ventured into the Real St Mary’s Close, an actual series of streets that had been sealed up and built on top of. The sealing of the Close from above has created a kind of a time capsule where the street-scape, shops and houses have been preserved just as they were when they were sealed. The tour weaves through a multitude of cramped dank Closes where our guide offers small, sad snippets of life on these tough streets. Particularly poignant is the plague house, whose inhabitants were sealed off from the general public, whilst battling one of history’s killer epidemics. One of the weirdest parts of the tour is the small room of a sealed house where a waterfall of soft toys have been offered to the ghost of the Close, a small girl searching for her lost doll. Not sure what she’s going to do with the Westlife Greatest Hits CD that sits proudly amidst the sea of pink stuffed animals.

Our final major stop in Edinburgh occurred the next day, at the Scotch Whiskey Experience, potentially the best “tour” we’ve done on this entire UK adventure. The experience contains a strange side-show ride in a Whiskey barrel where you’re introduced to the brewing technique for this quintessential Scottish drink before being disembarked into a lecture room where you learn all aspects of the history of Scottish Whiskey, including a clever scratch and sniff surprise. Finally you’re taught how to taste and savour Whiskey with a sample shot (chosen by smell...clever!) in the Willy Wonka of Whiskey rooms; a mirrored room of over 3000 Whiskey bottles, the largest collection of Whiskey in the world.
Edinburgh proved a fascinating, inspiring city and one which I can’t wait to see again.

1,2,7,3...Eurovision Interlude

With the Dusseldorf stage already being graced with the disappearing handkerchiefs, shattering glass, glitter bombs and waving flags of practicing nations here’s the skinny on who’s who, who’ll finish top 5 and who will be likely to face the dreaded NUL POINT?

With Italy, Austria and San Remo returning to the competition – San Remo shouldn’t have bothered – and with two former winners Dana International and Lena (again, one’s a dud) both re-representing their countries and chuck in an entry from Iceland where the participant died prior to the national heats and we’re in for a closer contest than we’ve seen in the last two years.

The betting is much tighter this year than last, where Germany’s Lena ran away with the competition with her Cockney-Aussie rendition of “Satellite”. And for those who are fans of the Bill and Neighbours...Lena returns to defend her crown in Eurovision’s latest re-invention where the winning artist is given the opportunity to return and perform in the competition using a new song. This year Lena’s entry is “Taken by a Stranger”, not as catchy last year’s “Satellite” but a definite Top 10 finish is likely.

The Frontrunners...

Estonia – Getter Jaani – “Rockerfeller Street”
Currently ranked equal 2nd in the betting I believe that this song will take top prize this year trumping the more fancied other two nations. Like Lena’s entry last year this is a perky, quirky piece of pop that the perfectly fresh-faced Estonian Getter Jaani performs with equal part syrup and silliness. The chorus is the best of this year’s competition and won’t leave your head once it’s ear-wormed. With a liquorice all-sort city-scape as a set and some surprising magic tricks (where did that handkerchief go?) this is a definite Top 3 finisher. Also in Jaani’s favour is that she’ll be performing the song in the 1st Semi whilst her major two rivals won’t perform their songs until the final itself. This helped the Ukraine, Finland and Norway in previous years with early exposure to the voting public. She’ll benefit from a 2nd half performance in the final but that’s the luck of the draw - could we see Tallinn hosting its 2nd Eurovision final and just the 3rd trip into the Baltics for the competition?

United Kingdom – Blue – “I Can”
Reforming specifically to contest this year’s competition Blue has been working very, very hard shopping this song all over Europe over the last 6 weeks. Good job too as the UK’s dismal entry last year (sorry Josh – you’re gorgeous but the song and performance was woeful) desperately required remedying. Blue will go for a simple choreographed routine where each of the four boys will shimmy past one another into the central singing position through the duration of the song. The song – a mid-tempo number – is not bad but it’s not the home-run song which would have secured the UK a victory. I don’t know that the UK can host the Olympics and the Eurovision Song Contest Final in one year – that’s a bit greedy. Likely to finish a close 2nd behind Estonia.

France – Amaury Vassili – “Songu”
Currently the favourite in the betting France’s entry this year has a lot going for it. Not only is Vassili a gorgeous young man who’s voice is splendid but he’s also singing in Corsican, the first time this language has appeared in the competition. But he’ll have to overcome two major issues – 1) will Eurovision voters really vote for a classical song (note Sweden’s Popera effort La Voix which finished bottom 3rd in 2008) and 2) will Vassili’s lack of “shopping the song” to Europe cost him top prize (he should be taking a leaf out of Estonia and UK’s book here). He’ll benefit from a 2nd half performance in the final. Likely to finish Top 3.

Best of the Rest

Sweden – Eric Saade – “Popular”
Shattering glass, high hair, killer key changes, catchy chorus and pelvic thrusts...it all adds up to Sweden’s entry. Sexy little Saade will be popular with the three G’s (girls, gays and grannies) and sail into the final. This year’s competition is lacking in some serious catchy pop and this entry certainly satisfies all the required Eurovision criteria. The shattering glass box is a highlight and should send the Dusseldorf crowd into a frenzy. Top 5 finish.

Hungary – Kati Wolf – “What About My Dreams”
I’ve a soft spot for this Hungarian entry – a poptastic whinge of a ditty by the ageing Wolf. Hungary has really struggled in the past 20 years to perform well in the competition and have failed to qualify through the Semi’s for several years. Wolf’s entry will not only remedy this but it should see her sail into a Top 5 finish. This will be a dark horse if it gets a 2nd half final birth and the other favourites have to perform early. Budapest? That’d be nice.

Ireland – Jedward – “Lipstick”
The crazy little leprechaun twins Jeward, currently gracing the cover of this editions Gay Times, will get some serious attention in this year’s competition. A high-octaine performance will be required to cover-up some of the defaults of the song. Unfortunately Jedward will be dwarfed by Blue this year but these boys will finish Top 10.

Azerbaijan – Ell/Nikki – “Running Scared”
I feel for Azerbaijan. They’ve been so close to the top prize in the last couple of years but just have not been able to crack it. Sorry to say this entry won’t get them over the line but it will see them finish Top 10 for the 3rd year in a row. The mid-tempo ballad has a catchy but slightly un-memorable chorus and as this is the only male/female duo this year the entry should be remembered. Country-block voting should also assist. A nice effort.

Anyone else?

Norway – Stella Mwangi – “Haba Haba”
Early favourite...great chorus but a bit lacklustre.

Armenia – Emmy – “Boom-Boom”
See Norway

Bosnia & Herzegovina – Dino Merlin – “Love in Rewind”
See Norway

Romania – Hotel FM – “Change”
Another soft spot for this one...great chorus but will need a big performance for it to be elevated to Top 10. Will qualify and finish in the top half in the final.

Belarus – Anastasiya Vinnikova – “I Love Belarus”
Controversy reigns over this disqualified then re-entered entry but one fact remains...it’s catchy. It’s 250/1 to win but would be a good bet for any of those considering a flutter on an outsider for a Top 10 finish.

The Disappointments

Israel – Dana International – “Ding Dong”
A former winner returns with a howler of an entry – terrible lyrics, awful vocals and a shocking chorus. Some performers should just stay away.

Greece – Loucas Yiorkas feat Stereo Mike – “Watch my Dance”
No thanks. This mess of rap and dance will make your ears bleed. Be warned this will qualify for the final due to country block voting.

Belgium – Witloof Bay – “With Love Baby”
When Glee goes really, really wrong. 2:57 never felt so long.

So, it’s open an open race this year which should make for a interesting evening...Tallinn? London? Paris? Budapest? Stockholm? Who’ll be hosting next year’s final???

You Take the High Road...

Arriving from Belfast into Stranaer, Scotland, courtesy of Stenalines, Victor Volvo ferried us to our first nights destination in Scotland – the seaside town of Ayr. Staying at an OK B&B we had a great meal at The Tree House before settling in for an early night knowing we had a big drive ahead of us the next day. Starting out early we found a great little coffee house in the centre of Ayr (Su Casa) where the barrista knew how to work a coffee machine and served us some of the best coffees we’ve had in Britain. Our drive through to the highland town of Fort William was the longest of the trip to date, taking in several beautiful Lochs on route to the town that sits in the shadow of Scotland’s tallest mountain Ben Nevis. A brief stop on the banks of Loch Lomond for lunch was one of the only stop of the day before we came to rest at the Moorings Hotel in Fort William, located right next to Neptune’s Staircase (a series of 12 staggered locks). We arrived at our stop just in time for episode 2 of the new season of Doctor Who (the 2nd live to air episode I’ve now seen...too exciting) the fabulous Day of the Moon.
The scenery of this section of the highlands was not what I expected – the stark brown peaks soar above the windy sections of roads and lengthy lochs litter the valleys where small towns perch on the larger banks of the water containing a disproportionate amount of B&B’s.
Our next day was another day of driving and onto one of the highlights of our trip, the much lauded Isle of Skye. Arriving onto Skye using the bridge from Kyle of Lochalsh we made our way to the North Western portion of the island and Dunvegan Castle. Stopping here for lunch and an explore we spent a pleasant afternoon strolling the grounds and castle of the MacLeod family, a residence which has been in this family for over 800 years. Arriving into Portree, Skye’s largest town, in the early evening we found our gorgeous hotel (The Rosedale Hotel) located right on the water’s edge of the main harbour. On arrival we were greeted by the friendly staff with a complimentary Talisker’s Whiskey or a Sweet Sherry as a “traveller’s remedy”. Making our way to our rooms we discovered that this hotel is a unique mash up of three miner’s cottages inclusive of a maze of staircases which makes it both instantly charming and unique. Both of our rooms looked directly onto the amazing harbour and water where the level of the room threw off an amazing optical illusion as the water appeared to lap at the window. Our rooms had excellent en-suite bathrooms and included some stunning Cole & Lloyd showering product. A great touch. This comes close to our B&B in Bath as the best accommodation we’ve had to date (www.rosedalehotelskye.co.uk). We had been highly recommended the hotel’s restaurant for dinner, which is actually outsourced to a different owner and we weren’t disappointed. The restaurant sources all local produce from the Isle of Skye for its menu and our meals consisted of Cullen Skink (a potato and smoked Haddock soup), Black Pudding Salad, Pan Fried Goat’s Cheese and Langoustines (a large prawn) caught early that morning from the waters just beyond Portree’s harbour.

Isle of Skye fact: Drambuie originated at the Broadford Hotel on Skye and to this day they are not charged for any bottles they order.

Our itinerary for the next day was the much anticipated tour of the Islands off of the South West corner of Skye (Rum, Eigg, Muck and Canna). The tour, via aqauexplore.com, departed from Elgol jetty but to get to the town of Elgol we came across our 15 miles of single lane road...
Question...um “what happens when someone’s coming the other way?”
Answer...”use the Passing Place”...a little hiccup of road which bubbles out at irregular intervals along the road; a kind of waiting station for cars allowing the traffic to flow in a stop-start manner. Add into this mix a roadway that appeared to be inhabited with black faced sheep and our 15 mile journey to Elgol took us nearly an hour to make.

On arrival into Elgol we all gave a collective gasp at the stunning scenery before us...the harbour of ink blue water dotted with 4 large islands to the left and the stunning and stark peaks of the Munroes (mountains) to our right. Having a coffee, accompanied with freshly made Apple and Cinnamon scones, at the town’s only coffee shop (a kitchen attached to a couples house) we marvelled at the activity in the small harbour below. Descending the steep hill from the car-park toward the harbour I spied the craft that would take us on our tour of the islands; 15 metre orange dingy which appeared to seat about a dozen passengers. When I pointed out the craft to Mum she immediately denied that this was going to be our transportation. 15 minutes later we were wearing massive water-proof coats and clipping on our life-jackets before clambering onto the dingy.
The 4.5 hour journey to the Isle of Rum and the Isle of Canna was an incredible experience. The isles lay approximately 15 miles off the coast of Skye and the craft got us to Rum in just over 20 minutes. Our first stop was Rum and our craft took us into the sweeping Queen’s Bay, where Red Deer stood on the beaches edge grazing on seaweed. Rum was handed to Scottish Heritage in the 1940’s and although it has 72 residents it is foremost a nature reserve and the only place in the world where Deer have been observed to eat seaweed. Moments later our boat was sitting next to a cluster of Puffins and Gillymott which were wading through the waters on their annual migration to the islands for nesting. Our next stop was the Isle of Canna, where we were disembarked for an hour and allowed to explore the Isle which is home to an entire 22 residents. Back on board the dingy the final part of the tour meandered around the cliffs of Canna where we found more Puffin, nesting Shags, more Gillymott’s and watched a Golden Eagle soar high above the cliffs peaks. A stunning afternoon basked in incredible sunshine. Highly recommended for any visitor to Skye.

Glossary of UK Holiday Terms.
Fantastico – something that is fantastic
Wankadanka – a motorcyclist, generally over 50 years of age and travelling with a minimum of two others, that takes over at any destination at which they arrive (eg Visitor’s Centre Cafe, Booking Agency, Parking Station etc)
Porka de Porka de Pork – does it have triple bacon?
Haste ye Back (sung to Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back) – please return quickly
Pastey Back (sung to Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back) – please put your shirt on quickly
Farm Cows – cows of the farm
Hairy Farm Cows – hirsute cows of the farm
Black faced sheep – self explanatory
More? (said in Liam Brochu style) – requiring a repeat