Semi One is all about the Blahallad - which may result in an upset of two and send some unlikely acts into the final.
Here's my pick for qualifiers (in no particular order).
1. Denmark (she should win this Semi and go into the final as red hot fave)
2. Ireland (Boy Dance Act against all the Ladies will see him through)
3. Serbia (going last in this Semi will help this trio)
4. Russia (Best of the Blahallads)
5. Ukraine (Solid performer and the Bookies rate her chances for the whole comp)
6. Belarus (Judges will ensure this goes through)
7. Moldova (see Belarus)
8. The Netherlands (could be interesting as I do think this may be the big surprise and she may NOT qualify)
9. Estonia (only because I have a soft spot for this nation - heart not head)
10. Slovenia (big wildcard as she's all dubstep in the midst of a lot of Disney songs)
Other two rank outsiders are;
Montenegro - this may sneak in as it's so different to anything else in this Semi (potentially swap out with Slovenia).
Belgium - an outside shot as he's performing late in the Semi and his ballad is up against a lot of lady blahallads. And his brows alone will be worth a vote or seven.
Oh Malmo! We know this year is all about the ballad but unfortunately the Yohanna or Chiara moments are few and far between. There’s a few decent one’s in the mix that hit the essential hand clasp, key change, soaring chorus kind of moment but we'll be witness to a lot of “blah” this May. Are entrants now scared of winning as the expense of hosting the following years contest may worsen their countries position in the Euro Fin crisis?
In any case, due to the large quantity of blahlads this year a few of the “wouldn’t look twice” entries actually become ones to watch….
It’s worth jumping on one or two of these ponies…
Slovenia
Dubstep hits Ljubljana and lovely Slovene Hannah goes hardcore with a bit of dance floor thumper. In other years this would not really rate but due to the lack of great pop and dance entries this year if Hannah’s staging turns the strobe lights to “fit inducing” and she adds some near naked buff boy backing dancers giving their pound of flesh she’ll give herself a shot at the final.
Black Caviar Rating – 6/10
Malta
With #browvision well and truly on trend this year for any male entrant worth his chaff Gianluca Bezzina has made sure his brow comb will be with him in Malmo. His entry beat cherub like Kevin Borg in the Maltese national final to win a glittery ticket to Malmo and the Summery “Tomorrow” will enliven a fairly bleakish second Semi Final.
Black Caviar Rating – 7/10
Switzerland
1. Takasa perform 2nd to last in Semi Final 2 and this late run should allow for some earworming into voters memories
2. Takasa includes the oldest contestant (at 95) to ever participate in the competition performing on stage - bless and cue the novelty vote
3. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah – an essential Eurovision chorus
Black Caviar rating 8/10
San Marino
Well Valentina Monetta must have been using last year as a dry run as she's decided to get serious this year. Her “Social Network Song”, which was only performed the once in Baku, delivered her states best result and featured some of the best lines of the competition in 2012 – “You wanna have cyber sex again?” No, I don’t but thanks.
This year Ms Monetta has chucked everything at the fan with her entry “Crisalide” and it’s gonna spray glitter. Essentially we've got a ballad, in Italian, with a smidge of operatic flair that transforms into a massive dance anthem in the last 30 seconds (sorry, what?) and delivers a cracking key change (drink!). Set wind machine to cyclonic and this will not only qualify but becomes a rank outside chance to win the whole thing.
Black Caviar rating 9/10
Georgia
Georgia's entry “Waterfall” is a Disney ballad on steroids. There’s strings, soaring vocals, clichés aplenty and two singers not afraid to dial up the cheese – the jury is going to LOVE this. Positioned late in the second semi will ensure this floats into qualification. Georgia are surely heir apparent to Azerbaijan and their placing in the final will be determined by which berth it lucks into.
Find out my take on theTOP 5 things that will be TRENDING in Malmo by reading my first post for SBS Televisions excellent Eurovision 2013 website at...
So, we’re almost there in regard to this year’s entries. Almost. We know all the performers that will take to the stage in Malmo even if we don’t have all the songs confirmed quite yet. And this year’s contest is shaping into a close, close race – with only 3 or 4 songs really standing out so far as ones that could take the “Glitter Ball” trophy.
So, this year’s not that stellar, in terms of the quality of entries, but come the traditional reading of the votes in the final and we may find ourselves lurching the length and breadth of Europe before we have a host country for 2014 which should make for an exciting show.
Host country Sweden, who has direct entry into the final in Malmo, created a first during their National Selection contest, Melodifestivalen, this year. Robin Stjernberg’s “You” initially had to find it's way out of the relegation final, Andra Chansen, to earn a spot in the actual final where the entry pipped the much favoured YOHIO’s “Heartbreak Hotel”, courtesy of an overwhelming majority in the judges voting, to win the chance to represent the home nation. The selection was the right one too - YOHIO's entry smacked of "novelty" whereas Robin's song is catchy, especially the “you-o-o-o-o-o-io-io-io”, and has some great dramatic moments - cue pyrotechnics. Mr Stjernberg's challenge will be getting through the vocal gymnastics of the song on the night and the backing dancers are awful - ditch the peasant chic and replace with some glam please. Really solid entry and could see a Top 5 finish for Sweden especially as they’ll feature in the later half of the final. Is a repeat win on the cards? Don’t discount it – Robin’s already #1 on the Swedish singles charts with this entry and the song is charting in Denmark & Norway.
The Netherlands have been in the Eurovision wilderness for many, many years without a crumb trail to follow to find their way out. Victims of the “revolt against the West” it’s been a tough gig for the Dutch in recent years with no entries making it past the Semis but in sending Anouk, a superstar in her native Netherlands, they may just have discovered the dry loaf that can be used to start a trail back to "contest contenders". "Birds", Anouk’s entry, is a haunting ballad which will, again if given the correct staging, see her as a firm favourite for the title. Boding very well for Anouk is that she too is topping the charts in her native The Netherlands where the song actually entered the singles charts at #1. Good signs if The Netherlands could vote for themselves…doh! Still – list this as “one to watch”.
Returning to the contest this year is Armenia and they’ll be represented by the fabulously mono-browed Gor Sujyan with his entry “Lonely Planet”…um, yes the irony is not lost on me or any of my colleagues. At least he named his entry correctly not like the mistaken name given to our company by our founder from a misheard Joe Cocker lyric. This is not my “cup of tea” by any stretch. The vocals are strained and the song, although earnest, is clumsy. This meandering offering is turning into a bit of a bookie favourite and Armenia have a great track record in the competition so I’d expect this to qualify through to the final. If he gets a spot late in the final he could feature prominently toward the end of the night.
Drums – check! Disco lights – check! Big dance-chorus – check! Ireland are taking the competition seriously again. Phew! Young Ryan Dolan’s “Only Love Survives” is one of my favourite songs this year so far. It’ catchy dance pop and should have some excellent percussion staging (take note Ms de Forest). The Irish National selection had acts being mentored by “industry insiders” and producer Stuart O’Connor’s slick influence assists this entry. Ryan’s in Heat 1 and this entry will stand out due to its exuberance and should qualify for the final. Again, Ryan needs to watch his scratchy vocal.
And now to one of my perennial favourites…Estonia – who always put up a worthy entry for consideration. Ott Lepland was last year’s real breakout performer with his stunning rendition of “Kuula” and equally impressive trouser theatrics. The gorgeous Birgit Oigemeel will be taking another simple ballad “Et uss saaks alguse” or “So there could be a new beginning” into Semi #1 (the more competitive of the 2 Semis). Birgit’s flowing black hair would give Morticia Adams a run for her money and this simple song could find itself in the final very easily.
And I have not even touched on Azerbaijan’s answer to Saakis Rouvas or GB’s latest gamble by sending 80’s songbird Bonnie Tyler into the competition. So much more to come…
For the record – my top 3 remain – Denmark “Only Teardrops”, Norway “I Feed You My Love” and Ireland “Only Love Survives”.
Hats off Europe – many of you appear to be getting a lot of your National selections for the ‘Vis right this year. Recent National finals in Finland, Norway and Malta have thrown up some worthy entries that all deserve a crack at the Grand Final at the big event in Malmo.
“Where is my proposal?” squeaks Krista Siegfrids during the opening verse of “Marry Me”…well no dear there’s no proposal but there is a ticket to Malmo for you to perform your 80’s up-tempo ditty courtesy of the Finnish voting public. Uunden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK – it’s just easier) was run and won this weekend and it ended up being a tight race that came down to the public vote to decide who would get the “glittery” ticket. Personal favourite Diandra made it into the final 3 along with Siegfrids and Mikael Saari but it was the blonde in the wedding dress that took the bouquet. She’s perky, the songs cute (the chatty bippy chorus is a winner) and the performance will be classic Eurovision. If she substitutes the backing dancers for buff oiled shirtless men in tuxedos and cranks the wind machine to “cyclone” she’ll sail straight into the final.
The Norwegians too seem to have sent a very worthy entry to Malmo this year and one which should be immediately classed as a “dark horse”. Margaret Berger was an overwhelming first choice from the Norwegian Melodi Grand Prix this weekend with her bare yet compelling staging of “I Feed You My Love”. Referencing Bjork’s “Army of Me” this is one of the more serious entries we’ll see in Malmo but as soon as the strings kick in with the chorus there’s really no stopping your leg from tapping along. Norway have lucked into a strong spot late in Semi 2 and with some really dazzling lighting design as part of the bare staging we won’t need to put a knife to Ms Berger’s back and she should make it to the final.
And then finally one of Eurovision’s most endearing countries to have never won top prize…Malta. Kurt Calleja surprised everyone (not me – see earlier entries) to shuffle step his way into last year’s final and this year’s entry comes from another Maltese cutie…Gianluca Bezzina. It became a 2 horse race in Malta at last weekends National final where it boiled down to Gianluca’s “Tomorrow” and Kevin Borg’s ballad “Needing You”. Interestingly Borg’s Scandi connections could have seen “Needing You” do very well in the competition but that will need to be filed under “we’ll never know”. It came down to the final round of voting to hand Ginaluca the “glittery” ticket to Malmo and guarantee that at least one Ukulele will appear on the Malmo stage. “Tomorrow” is a simple and bouncy little song and we know the Eurovision audience loves a simple ditty – see Tom Dice amongst others – and given a love for Malta in this competition a place in the final should not be discounted.
