1st Semi Predicitions...

Armenia
Azerbaijan
Croatia
Hungary
Norway
Russia
Serbia
Greece
Poland
Georgia

Dogs and Monsters

Destination Loch Ness! Yes, that most famous of Lochs was our much anticipated first stop on the way through to Stirling and then Edinburgh. Again, graced with magnificent spring weather, we arrived on the shores of the Loch at the ruins of the famous Urquhart Castle. The waters of the Loch remained still and strangely calm for our entire exploration of the well-maintained ruins. The sweeping views from this 10th century stronghold are unrivalled and one can only imagine what a machinations, brutality and hedonism took place within its walls.

Arriving late into Inverness we found our B&B and after a short stroll and dinner bunked down for the night. With a big drive ahead of us the next day we made a quick sideline trip to Fort George, a working military fort approximately 10 mile out of Inverness on the way to Nairn. The fort contains fascinating memorabilia of the Scots Guard and Regiment (the Highlanders) but is very much a working military base; the chorus of practice gunfire that became our ambient music for the visit very much a testament to its “active” nature.

Weaving through the Scottish Central Highlands our next stop was the historic town of Stirling, containing the imposing William Wallace memorial and the lauded Stirling Castle. Unfortunately our B&B for this pit stop proved to be less than impressive...our first real bad accommodation experience of the trip. The shabby pink linen should have hinted at the night to come where we endured a damp, cold night after the central heating was shut off. And LP recommended this place...words will be exchanged when I return to work.

Stirling Castle, like much of many of the sites we’ve visited in the UK, was under heavy repair work with lots of scaffolding obscuring views and where entire sections were blocked off from visitors. The William Wallace Memorial was a much more memorable stop where after commencing the climb up the tower Dad opted out on floor one and Mum opting out of floor three. The steep spiral ascent finally pops you out on top of the memorial where you’re greeted with stunning views of the surrounding countryside and Stirling Castle.

Arriving late into Edinburgh on a bleak and rainy afternoon we found our way to our apartment (our resting spot for the next three nights) located just south of Old Town. Our third floor apartment proved an excellent base (although the stairs proved less than desirable with our heavy bags) for exploring this ancient capital. Edinburgh exceeded my expectations in terms of beauty where the grand cobblestoned Royal Mile houses an intricate labyrinth of closes each tempting exploration.

Edinburgh Castle proved to be one of our must frustrating experiences of the trip and even our early start did not help us escape the crowds. Once more, we were greeted with castle walls adorned with lots of scaffolding and “no go” areas. Adding to this disappointment were the 5 bus loads of Spanish tourists, all with audio guides in hand, pushing you forward in a sea of guided tour hysteria.
Needing a break from the crowds we strolled down to Greyfriar’s Kirkyard, housing the fascinating supposed haunted graveyard and the home to the memorial for Greyfriar’s Bobby (the faithful dog who spent 16 years guarding the grave of his master). Unaware that they were missing one of Edinburgh’s most fascinating historical sites the Spanish tourists remained safely tucked in the walls of Edinburgh Castle as we walked around the soaring tombstones of the Kirkyard. Luckily for us a photographer was working his way through the locked section of the graveyard, containing many “haunted” tombs, which we were privileged to explore. The macabre headstones, blackened by the soot of the city and the ravages of the elements sport angry skulls, forlorn angels and faded sorry script hinting at the how’s and when’s of the passing’s of tombs inhabitants.
Feeling a mite peckish we stopped for lunch at The Elephant House a coffee shop made famous, not only for its stunning views of Edinburgh Castle, George Heriot School and Greyfriar’s Kirkyard and Graveyard, but the cafe were J K Rowling started scribbling a story about a be-speckled boy-wizard.

After a long walk up Arthur’s Seat, to capture some fabulous shots of the city, we wandered back to the Old City via the turreted Holyroodhouse Palace, the stark and modern Parliament House and the tired Edinburgh Memorial before finding HMV where Mum purchased both versions of “Greyfriar’s Bobby”...the Disney original from the 60’s and the 2005 remake...destined to become our viewing for the evening.
But before delving into this cute Skye canine’s story it was under the city we were to go as we ventured into the Real St Mary’s Close, an actual series of streets that had been sealed up and built on top of. The sealing of the Close from above has created a kind of a time capsule where the street-scape, shops and houses have been preserved just as they were when they were sealed. The tour weaves through a multitude of cramped dank Closes where our guide offers small, sad snippets of life on these tough streets. Particularly poignant is the plague house, whose inhabitants were sealed off from the general public, whilst battling one of history’s killer epidemics. One of the weirdest parts of the tour is the small room of a sealed house where a waterfall of soft toys have been offered to the ghost of the Close, a small girl searching for her lost doll. Not sure what she’s going to do with the Westlife Greatest Hits CD that sits proudly amidst the sea of pink stuffed animals.

Our final major stop in Edinburgh occurred the next day, at the Scotch Whiskey Experience, potentially the best “tour” we’ve done on this entire UK adventure. The experience contains a strange side-show ride in a Whiskey barrel where you’re introduced to the brewing technique for this quintessential Scottish drink before being disembarked into a lecture room where you learn all aspects of the history of Scottish Whiskey, including a clever scratch and sniff surprise. Finally you’re taught how to taste and savour Whiskey with a sample shot (chosen by smell...clever!) in the Willy Wonka of Whiskey rooms; a mirrored room of over 3000 Whiskey bottles, the largest collection of Whiskey in the world.
Edinburgh proved a fascinating, inspiring city and one which I can’t wait to see again.

1,2,7,3...Eurovision Interlude

With the Dusseldorf stage already being graced with the disappearing handkerchiefs, shattering glass, glitter bombs and waving flags of practicing nations here’s the skinny on who’s who, who’ll finish top 5 and who will be likely to face the dreaded NUL POINT?

With Italy, Austria and San Remo returning to the competition – San Remo shouldn’t have bothered – and with two former winners Dana International and Lena (again, one’s a dud) both re-representing their countries and chuck in an entry from Iceland where the participant died prior to the national heats and we’re in for a closer contest than we’ve seen in the last two years.

The betting is much tighter this year than last, where Germany’s Lena ran away with the competition with her Cockney-Aussie rendition of “Satellite”. And for those who are fans of the Bill and Neighbours...Lena returns to defend her crown in Eurovision’s latest re-invention where the winning artist is given the opportunity to return and perform in the competition using a new song. This year Lena’s entry is “Taken by a Stranger”, not as catchy last year’s “Satellite” but a definite Top 10 finish is likely.

The Frontrunners...

Estonia – Getter Jaani – “Rockerfeller Street”
Currently ranked equal 2nd in the betting I believe that this song will take top prize this year trumping the more fancied other two nations. Like Lena’s entry last year this is a perky, quirky piece of pop that the perfectly fresh-faced Estonian Getter Jaani performs with equal part syrup and silliness. The chorus is the best of this year’s competition and won’t leave your head once it’s ear-wormed. With a liquorice all-sort city-scape as a set and some surprising magic tricks (where did that handkerchief go?) this is a definite Top 3 finisher. Also in Jaani’s favour is that she’ll be performing the song in the 1st Semi whilst her major two rivals won’t perform their songs until the final itself. This helped the Ukraine, Finland and Norway in previous years with early exposure to the voting public. She’ll benefit from a 2nd half performance in the final but that’s the luck of the draw - could we see Tallinn hosting its 2nd Eurovision final and just the 3rd trip into the Baltics for the competition?

United Kingdom – Blue – “I Can”
Reforming specifically to contest this year’s competition Blue has been working very, very hard shopping this song all over Europe over the last 6 weeks. Good job too as the UK’s dismal entry last year (sorry Josh – you’re gorgeous but the song and performance was woeful) desperately required remedying. Blue will go for a simple choreographed routine where each of the four boys will shimmy past one another into the central singing position through the duration of the song. The song – a mid-tempo number – is not bad but it’s not the home-run song which would have secured the UK a victory. I don’t know that the UK can host the Olympics and the Eurovision Song Contest Final in one year – that’s a bit greedy. Likely to finish a close 2nd behind Estonia.

France – Amaury Vassili – “Songu”
Currently the favourite in the betting France’s entry this year has a lot going for it. Not only is Vassili a gorgeous young man who’s voice is splendid but he’s also singing in Corsican, the first time this language has appeared in the competition. But he’ll have to overcome two major issues – 1) will Eurovision voters really vote for a classical song (note Sweden’s Popera effort La Voix which finished bottom 3rd in 2008) and 2) will Vassili’s lack of “shopping the song” to Europe cost him top prize (he should be taking a leaf out of Estonia and UK’s book here). He’ll benefit from a 2nd half performance in the final. Likely to finish Top 3.

Best of the Rest

Sweden – Eric Saade – “Popular”
Shattering glass, high hair, killer key changes, catchy chorus and pelvic thrusts...it all adds up to Sweden’s entry. Sexy little Saade will be popular with the three G’s (girls, gays and grannies) and sail into the final. This year’s competition is lacking in some serious catchy pop and this entry certainly satisfies all the required Eurovision criteria. The shattering glass box is a highlight and should send the Dusseldorf crowd into a frenzy. Top 5 finish.

Hungary – Kati Wolf – “What About My Dreams”
I’ve a soft spot for this Hungarian entry – a poptastic whinge of a ditty by the ageing Wolf. Hungary has really struggled in the past 20 years to perform well in the competition and have failed to qualify through the Semi’s for several years. Wolf’s entry will not only remedy this but it should see her sail into a Top 5 finish. This will be a dark horse if it gets a 2nd half final birth and the other favourites have to perform early. Budapest? That’d be nice.

Ireland – Jedward – “Lipstick”
The crazy little leprechaun twins Jeward, currently gracing the cover of this editions Gay Times, will get some serious attention in this year’s competition. A high-octaine performance will be required to cover-up some of the defaults of the song. Unfortunately Jedward will be dwarfed by Blue this year but these boys will finish Top 10.

Azerbaijan – Ell/Nikki – “Running Scared”
I feel for Azerbaijan. They’ve been so close to the top prize in the last couple of years but just have not been able to crack it. Sorry to say this entry won’t get them over the line but it will see them finish Top 10 for the 3rd year in a row. The mid-tempo ballad has a catchy but slightly un-memorable chorus and as this is the only male/female duo this year the entry should be remembered. Country-block voting should also assist. A nice effort.

Anyone else?

Norway – Stella Mwangi – “Haba Haba”
Early favourite...great chorus but a bit lacklustre.

Armenia – Emmy – “Boom-Boom”
See Norway

Bosnia & Herzegovina – Dino Merlin – “Love in Rewind”
See Norway

Romania – Hotel FM – “Change”
Another soft spot for this one...great chorus but will need a big performance for it to be elevated to Top 10. Will qualify and finish in the top half in the final.

Belarus – Anastasiya Vinnikova – “I Love Belarus”
Controversy reigns over this disqualified then re-entered entry but one fact remains...it’s catchy. It’s 250/1 to win but would be a good bet for any of those considering a flutter on an outsider for a Top 10 finish.

The Disappointments

Israel – Dana International – “Ding Dong”
A former winner returns with a howler of an entry – terrible lyrics, awful vocals and a shocking chorus. Some performers should just stay away.

Greece – Loucas Yiorkas feat Stereo Mike – “Watch my Dance”
No thanks. This mess of rap and dance will make your ears bleed. Be warned this will qualify for the final due to country block voting.

Belgium – Witloof Bay – “With Love Baby”
When Glee goes really, really wrong. 2:57 never felt so long.

So, it’s open an open race this year which should make for a interesting evening...Tallinn? London? Paris? Budapest? Stockholm? Who’ll be hosting next year’s final???

You Take the High Road...

Arriving from Belfast into Stranaer, Scotland, courtesy of Stenalines, Victor Volvo ferried us to our first nights destination in Scotland – the seaside town of Ayr. Staying at an OK B&B we had a great meal at The Tree House before settling in for an early night knowing we had a big drive ahead of us the next day. Starting out early we found a great little coffee house in the centre of Ayr (Su Casa) where the barrista knew how to work a coffee machine and served us some of the best coffees we’ve had in Britain. Our drive through to the highland town of Fort William was the longest of the trip to date, taking in several beautiful Lochs on route to the town that sits in the shadow of Scotland’s tallest mountain Ben Nevis. A brief stop on the banks of Loch Lomond for lunch was one of the only stop of the day before we came to rest at the Moorings Hotel in Fort William, located right next to Neptune’s Staircase (a series of 12 staggered locks). We arrived at our stop just in time for episode 2 of the new season of Doctor Who (the 2nd live to air episode I’ve now seen...too exciting) the fabulous Day of the Moon.
The scenery of this section of the highlands was not what I expected – the stark brown peaks soar above the windy sections of roads and lengthy lochs litter the valleys where small towns perch on the larger banks of the water containing a disproportionate amount of B&B’s.
Our next day was another day of driving and onto one of the highlights of our trip, the much lauded Isle of Skye. Arriving onto Skye using the bridge from Kyle of Lochalsh we made our way to the North Western portion of the island and Dunvegan Castle. Stopping here for lunch and an explore we spent a pleasant afternoon strolling the grounds and castle of the MacLeod family, a residence which has been in this family for over 800 years. Arriving into Portree, Skye’s largest town, in the early evening we found our gorgeous hotel (The Rosedale Hotel) located right on the water’s edge of the main harbour. On arrival we were greeted by the friendly staff with a complimentary Talisker’s Whiskey or a Sweet Sherry as a “traveller’s remedy”. Making our way to our rooms we discovered that this hotel is a unique mash up of three miner’s cottages inclusive of a maze of staircases which makes it both instantly charming and unique. Both of our rooms looked directly onto the amazing harbour and water where the level of the room threw off an amazing optical illusion as the water appeared to lap at the window. Our rooms had excellent en-suite bathrooms and included some stunning Cole & Lloyd showering product. A great touch. This comes close to our B&B in Bath as the best accommodation we’ve had to date (www.rosedalehotelskye.co.uk). We had been highly recommended the hotel’s restaurant for dinner, which is actually outsourced to a different owner and we weren’t disappointed. The restaurant sources all local produce from the Isle of Skye for its menu and our meals consisted of Cullen Skink (a potato and smoked Haddock soup), Black Pudding Salad, Pan Fried Goat’s Cheese and Langoustines (a large prawn) caught early that morning from the waters just beyond Portree’s harbour.

Isle of Skye fact: Drambuie originated at the Broadford Hotel on Skye and to this day they are not charged for any bottles they order.

Our itinerary for the next day was the much anticipated tour of the Islands off of the South West corner of Skye (Rum, Eigg, Muck and Canna). The tour, via aqauexplore.com, departed from Elgol jetty but to get to the town of Elgol we came across our 15 miles of single lane road...
Question...um “what happens when someone’s coming the other way?”
Answer...”use the Passing Place”...a little hiccup of road which bubbles out at irregular intervals along the road; a kind of waiting station for cars allowing the traffic to flow in a stop-start manner. Add into this mix a roadway that appeared to be inhabited with black faced sheep and our 15 mile journey to Elgol took us nearly an hour to make.

On arrival into Elgol we all gave a collective gasp at the stunning scenery before us...the harbour of ink blue water dotted with 4 large islands to the left and the stunning and stark peaks of the Munroes (mountains) to our right. Having a coffee, accompanied with freshly made Apple and Cinnamon scones, at the town’s only coffee shop (a kitchen attached to a couples house) we marvelled at the activity in the small harbour below. Descending the steep hill from the car-park toward the harbour I spied the craft that would take us on our tour of the islands; 15 metre orange dingy which appeared to seat about a dozen passengers. When I pointed out the craft to Mum she immediately denied that this was going to be our transportation. 15 minutes later we were wearing massive water-proof coats and clipping on our life-jackets before clambering onto the dingy.
The 4.5 hour journey to the Isle of Rum and the Isle of Canna was an incredible experience. The isles lay approximately 15 miles off the coast of Skye and the craft got us to Rum in just over 20 minutes. Our first stop was Rum and our craft took us into the sweeping Queen’s Bay, where Red Deer stood on the beaches edge grazing on seaweed. Rum was handed to Scottish Heritage in the 1940’s and although it has 72 residents it is foremost a nature reserve and the only place in the world where Deer have been observed to eat seaweed. Moments later our boat was sitting next to a cluster of Puffins and Gillymott which were wading through the waters on their annual migration to the islands for nesting. Our next stop was the Isle of Canna, where we were disembarked for an hour and allowed to explore the Isle which is home to an entire 22 residents. Back on board the dingy the final part of the tour meandered around the cliffs of Canna where we found more Puffin, nesting Shags, more Gillymott’s and watched a Golden Eagle soar high above the cliffs peaks. A stunning afternoon basked in incredible sunshine. Highly recommended for any visitor to Skye.

Glossary of UK Holiday Terms.
Fantastico – something that is fantastic
Wankadanka – a motorcyclist, generally over 50 years of age and travelling with a minimum of two others, that takes over at any destination at which they arrive (eg Visitor’s Centre Cafe, Booking Agency, Parking Station etc)
Porka de Porka de Pork – does it have triple bacon?
Haste ye Back (sung to Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back) – please return quickly
Pastey Back (sung to Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back) – please put your shirt on quickly
Farm Cows – cows of the farm
Hairy Farm Cows – hirsute cows of the farm
Black faced sheep – self explanatory
More? (said in Liam Brochu style) – requiring a repeat

The Dark Hedges and Other Stories

On route from Dublin to Belfast our first major stop was the UNESCO heritage site of Bru na Boinne, an inter-connecting series of several Neolithic tombs close to the River Boyne and the village of Slane. Irish road signs have proven to be more than challenging on this trip and our route from the M1 (the Dublin-Belfast road) was made even more frustrating with no signage to this “must do experience”. What we discovered was that all the signs indicated the site of Newgrange, the name of one of the main three tombs, whereas all our tour literature (in hotels, info hubs and in guidebooks) refers to the site of Bru na Boinne. Grrrr! Another village detour behind us and we were in the visitors carpark and taking a short walk to the visitors centre. The Bru na Boinne set-up is exceptional and to protect the site all access to the tombs is via the visitor centre shuttle buses (which depart at regular intervals). The short 5 minute drive through lush green fields containing happily grazing cows and sheep leads you directly to the incredible grass-topped stone dome. Newgrange, the first of three tombs that you can visit, pre-dates the Celts in Ireland and the site is approximately 500 years older than the Pyramids of Egypt. Walking inside the tomb is a humbling experience especially when the lights are extinguished and you’re treated to a re-enactment of the fleeting filtering in of the Winter Solstice sun that this Neolithic construction captures. A definite highlight.
Arriving in Belfast in the late afternoon we were welcomed into a bustling, cosmopolitan city and one which I did not expect to embrace in the way that I did. Having a serviced apartment for this stay also meant we all felt slightly more relaxed about our surrounds and could finally do some washing. Taking the much recommended Belfast Black Cab Tour of West Belfast troubled spots was a unique and compelling way to experience this cities recent violent history. Ask any black cab driver to take you on a tour and for a small fee they’ll ferry you safely around these sites for approximately and hour – you’ll take in various wall murals from both sides, the headquarters for Sinn Fein and to visit memorials of some locations of horrendous and notorious atrocities such as the Bombay St fires. The West Belfast wall is the world’s longest memorial mural in the world and this was an shocking and saddening experience and one which I would highly recommend for any visitor to this city.

Our 2nd day in Belfast was actually spent much further north within Northern Ireland as we explored the Causeway Coast Road and some of this islands most picturesque coastline. Our first stop was the underwhelming Dark Hedges, an apparently haunted road in the undulating countryside, where the trees form a zigzagging canopy across the across the road. No ghost but a couple of good photos. However our 2nd stop, the Mussenden Temple, provided us some of the most spectacular scenery of our trip. After a short amble through the Mussenden gardens, you emerge in a bare field containing three or four significant structures. The most attractive being the Mussenden Temple, which sits perched on the edge of the cliff overlooking a stretch of golden beach. The ruins of Mussenden House, which sits in the foreground of the temple, hints at the grandeur and opulence of this property in its heyday...it’s skeleton now standing grand and quiet; an echo of its former self. Our next stop on the Causeway Coast Road was the stunning Giant’s Causeway, which proved to be one of the best signposted sights in all of Ireland (no getting lost here!). Arriving in the late afternoon, and beating most of the crowds, this is another UNESCO heritage site and a place stepped in Irish legend and lore. According to legend this is the site that Finn McCool, he who consumed the salmon of knowledge, created to spite his Scottish rivals. The blackened cliffs of the multiple bays are dribbled with lush green grass that spills unevenly over them like icing. The spectacular Stepping Stones, which happen to also grace the cover of Lonely Planet Ireland, are a geological phenomenon; a peaked avenue of stone steps that lead directly from the sea to the cliffs where all visitors are permitted to clamber and climb over this natural wonder. The next bay over provides more picturesque landscape photograph moments as rolling waves crash onto blackened rocks and the huge cliffs play house to a myriad of noisy sea bird life.
After several hours of walking in and around the Giant’s Causeway, we returned to Belfast via the stunning cliff top ruin of Dunlace Castle. Unfortunately we’d left our run a little late and the castle grounds were closed however as the castle dominates the coastline views it was easy to capture some great sunset images of the site.
With the Royal Wedding taking place the following day and this being our “transit day” from Ireland to Scotland we decided it was best to leave our apartment early and find a cafe screening the event. Thanks to Oscar’s Champagne Cafe, some bacon buttys and some strong coffee and we watched Willy and Kate wed – a nice way to end our Irish leg of this trip.

Next: Fort William and Isle of Skye, Scotland

Disturbing a Fairy Fort

Arriving in Dublin was relatively painless in comparison to some of our other Irish road experiences with a quick 2 hour journey on the motorway from Galway propelling us into Ireland’s largest city. Staying at the lovely Ashling Hotel (www.ashlinghotel.ie), a former residence of Wittgenstein, we discovered that, like Galway, Easter Monday meant that mostly everything was closed. So, we’d need to cram a bit into Tuesday then!
After another hearty breakfast (Mum and Dad have become obsessed with kippers and poached eggs) we hit the ground running for our whirlwind cultural tour of Dublin...

Cultural Stop 1: The Guinness Storehouse...the Home of Guinness

Our hotel fronted directly onto the massive Guinness complex at St James’ Gate Brewery which made our first destination a bit of a “no brainer”. A quick walk in the brisk morning air and we were in the heart of the Guinness empire. Reminiscent of the chocolate factory from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this is a black ale lovers’ dream for once you enter the gates the participant is surreally thrust into the middle of a 7-story pint glass which acts as the entry point to the experience. The first section of the tour introduces you to the history of Guinness via an extremely impressive multi-levelled interactive display. The most interesting fact from this exhibition reveals that the lease (which sits embedded in the central atrium) for the brewery has a duration of 9000 years – making this the longest brewery lease in history. The remainder of the first section of the tour takes you through the four natural ingredients required to make this famous ale – barley, hops, yeast and water. Further floors reveal the companies transport, advertising and sponsorship history when finally you arrive at the 7th floor Gravity Bar (a round clear bar with amazing views of the city) which represents the head of the beer. Our ticket price included a pint of Guinness which both Dad and I relished at 10:37am whilst taking in the panoramic views of the city!

Cultural Stop 2: Trinity College Library and The Book of Kells Exhibition

With one iconic aspect of Dublin sampled it was on to Trinity College and its famous library (containing the often referenced Long Room) which contains the largest collection of manuscripts and printed books in Ireland. It was with great excitement that I discovered that the library was also hosting a large exhibition on The Book of Kells, a lavishly decorated book of four gospels from the bible which dates back to the 9th century. At the end of exhibition you are treated to four actual pages from the 1000 year old text...an incredibly humbling experience.
After exiting the exhibition you emerge into the Long Room of the Old Library which is currently hosting a display of the history of medicine (including the skeleton of the Irish Giant – a man whose height reached an unfortunate 7 foot in 1730). This vast room, with its unique barrel-vaulted ceiling and 2nd floor gallery, is a beautiful collision of over 200,000 dusty volumes of text, several wrought iron spiral staircases and a plethora of 15 foot ladders leading up to various letters of the alphabet.

Cultural Stop 3: The National Leprechaun Museum

Our next cultural stop on our tour of Dublin was the recently opened Leprechaun Museum on Jervis St (on the other side of the canal) which, although sounding twee, ended up being a rewarding and enlightening experience. Semi-hosted by a story-teller the experience commences with an initial revelation about the history of the mischievous Leprechaun (with a reference to the horror-series Leprechaun which apparently starred a pre-Friends Jennifer Aniston) but goes on to divulge much more interesting information about Irish mythology and lore.

Things I learnt from the Leprechaun Story Teller.
1. A Banshee is a female fairy. If she wails outside your house she is pre-warning the death of someone within.
2. A Fairy Tree is a singular tree that sits stark and alone in the middle of a field. One must not play or disturb the tree for if they do they will be cursed by the fairy people protecting the tree
3. A Fairy Fort is cluster of trees and rocks that is apparently easily identifiable by the Irish (pity for those not in the know). See above for the consequences of disturbing one.
4. A Changeling is a substitute, normally a child, who has been planted by the fairies as replacement for the original as the fairies were enamoured by the original. The only way to recover the original is to thrust the Changeling back to the fairy world (normally by chucking the Changeling down a well).

Here ends our gastronomic, historic and mythological tour of Dublin.
Couple of quick tips:
- Some coffee houses have key-padded toilets. The only way to access is by using your “toilet code” on the bottom of your receipt
- Always carry Imodium...thank God for Boots the Chemist!

Children of the Bog

After stopping in Limerick for the night (where we stayed at the very lovely and very under-tenanted Cartlon Castleroy Hotel) we were on our way to the coastal city of Galway via the Cliffs of Moher. A side trip to Limerick’s apparent highlight, the slightly sorry looking King John’s Castle, and Victor the Volvo and his occupants were back on the road. To this point the days had been covered in a thick smog and after a little rain and wind most of the blanket had shifted to reveal the scenery we’d so desperately been waiting to see...undulating hills of dense green divided into patchwork plots by 4-foot slate walls populated by black faced sheep and fluffy meandering cows.

Before starting out on the road to the Cliffs of Moher (up for one of the new wonders of the natural world) we made a lunch detour to the gorgeous village of Ennis which was well worth a stop. Mum and I were beside ourselves when we stumbled across Zest a cafe complete with serve yourself salad bar. Acting like famished children we descended upon the feast of fresh vegetables and gorged ourselves on green beans, broccoli and coleslaw (I’m sure I noticed a few locals backing away from us wary to meet our eyes fearful of attack). The city centre of Ennis was abuzz with a local market where everything from live ducks and chickens to locally produced olives and jams were on sale. This is the Ireland the guidebooks promised.

After a slightly precarious road trip to the Cliffs of Moher on some fairly questionable roads we reached the immense car-park of this natural wonder with a throng of additional Easter Saturday visitors. With a cloudless sky the day was perfect for exploring the stark cliff tops where the rolling green fields appear to crack off and splinter into the sea hundreds of feet below. Even with the hundreds of other travellers we managed to get some excellent photographs and get a glimpse of the Aran Islands (a small trio of Islands off the coast).
Another even more precarious road trip was to follow – the Cliffs of Moher to Galway road is not for the faint-hearted or those who are less skilled in the art of driving.

Sweeping Generalisation #1: All VW Golfs are driven by older tourists who should not be driving on Irish roads...argh!

Arriving, one Manfred panic attack later, into Galway and checked into our next hotel I was ready for my first ever live-to-air viewing of Doctor Who. The first episode of Series 6, The Impossible Astronaut, is the first episode of Who I have ever seen go live to air in 37 years...and it was a truly satisfying experience for me (no spoilers!).

Rant #1 (contains spoilers): Although I really enjoyed the 1st episode of Series 6 it appears that Mr Moffatt is somewhat one-note. The Silence, although well realised, are really another version of the Weeping Angels where memory-loss substitutes blinking, the lumbering threat of the Astronaut is another version of the space-suit encased skeletons from Silence in the Library and the time-bending antics of the story-telling has lost its inventiveness due to over-use. And, the TARDIS is now really feeling very over-crowded. My vote is for a Doctor-River crew...ditch the newly-weds.

Easter Sunday was always going to be a tricky prospect, we were unsure of whether we were going to be able to do much (or anything) due to the extended public holiday and we found out quick smart that Galway City was closed for business and we’d need to make some quick-fire changes to our plans. Our hotel was out of the question as we were apparently staying in what I can only describe as an isthmus from Hell – where the entire population of Connemara with children under the age of 8 had decided to stay for Easter and NOT LEAVE THE HOTEL (shudder!). Leaving the 7000 children of Hell hotel and the closed Galway City behind us we made our way to something we knew was going to be open Kylemore Abbey (one of the most visited tourist spots in all of Ireland). A good 100kms out of Galway City the road to Kylemore Abbey takes you via the dramatic Connemara National Park with its scenery of bald craggy mountains surrounded by stark tracts of never-ending peat bogs. Mmm...evil thoughts regarding annoying kiddies and peat bogs entering mind...

On arrival at the Abbey we were ushered into car park 3 (was this a good sign?). The Abbey grounds contain a massive Victorian Walled Garden and being Easter Sunday it was hosting an Easter Egg hunt within the walled grounds for all the local children (hence the crowds...not to mentioned that the nearest city was also closed). This site is well-catered for with the local cafe offering a stunning selection of home-made food. Irish Stew, Quiches and Baked Salmon were all on the lunch menu perfectly accompanied by home-made Apple Pies, Chester Squares or Rhubarb Crumble (some serious walking required post the food frenzy).
Home to a cluster of Benedictine Nuns (who’d relocated from a war-torn Ypres, France) since 1920 Kylemore Abbey contains the stunning Abbey, Gothic Chapel and a much-lauded Walled Garden and accompanying tea-house. The grounds and houses are ripe with history, both dramatic and tragic, and all set against the incredible mountains of the Connemara National Park. This stop has been our best detour to date.

Our fabulous day could not even be dampened by Hell hotel housing it’s spawn of 7000 toddlers as we adjourned another day in Ireland.

The Poison Garden

Arriving in Fishguard, Wales to await our Stenaline ferry to Rosslare, Ireland we stumbled across a local caf and it felt criminal not to sample from the menu...so it was bacon butty’s and cherry pie with custard all around. Soon enough we had boarded the ferry, settled ourselves for the 4 hour journey and it was “see ya” to Wales. The crossing itself was very smooth but the ferry was inundated with marauding children on school holiday excursions. Ferreting ourselves away in a secluded corner we whiled away the journey with several rounds of cards.

Once disembarked in Rosslare, Ireland and with the Volvo revved up and ready to go it was onward to Waterford and our stop for the night. Making decent time we arrived in Waterford and promptly found our waterfront hotel before a quick meal and an early night.

Refreshed and ready for the day our first stop was the Waterford Crystal Factory where we took the hour long tour of the facility. This working factory is a bit “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” as you’re ushered into mirrored rooms containing secret compartments before being thrust into the factory itself. An hour’s tour of the factory shows you everything from the fascinating blowing parade where all the crystals pieces are created to the incredible buffing, sculpting and engraving sections where the pieces are finished ready for sale.

Leaving Waterford behind we made our way down the coast to Cork via Dungavan (and our lunch stop). Our Lonely Planet Ireland guide recommended we stop at Dungavan’s Nude Food (www.nudefood.ie) for a veggie burger and that we did. Fed and happy it was on to Cork and our final stop for the day staying at the lovely B&B Garnish House. Cork is an incredibly confusing city to navigate – with too many quays and one-way streets for a city of this size – and it took us a crazy amount of time to finally arrive at our destination. But on arrival at the cute B&B we were presented with a lovely afternoon tea of coffee, tea, scones (with local preserves) and cake by our host Marcel.

Rant: I know Ireland’s undergoing some tough financial times at the moment but seriously, whatever money you have in the coffers PLEASE invest it in some street signs...a 10 minute journey took us 50 minutes due to the lack of street signage.

After a day in the car it was nice to do a short walking tour of Cork which took in the incredible St Finn Bare’s Cathedral this cities gargoyle-laden highlight. And there was no better way to end this day than with a Guinness at the local pub.

Hats off to Garnish House who provided the most incredible breakfast experience of our trip to date with a staggering 33 options to choose from on the menu...

Tip: If staying at Garnish House you must have the signature house porridge with the Irish Bayley cream. Delicious!

A mere 8km outside of Cork and you arrive in the cute little village of Blarney home of the much-visited Blarney Castle (containing the often-referenced Blarney Stone). After another confusing road-sign detour we happened across the dominating castle and the beautiful manicured grounds.

For only €10 you’re able to access all of the grounds, including an up to 4.5 km woodland walk, and the castle itself. Blarney Castle is a staggering structure – intimidating and dominating the castle stands quietly within a serene garden setting of Daffodil, Azaleas, Oak, Elm and Ash. Having scaled to the height of the castle I found myself on my back, dangling backward over the edge (hanging onto two iron poles) and puckering up to a stone! Truly odd.
What is rarely referenced in much of the “tour” literature is the other elements offered in the grounds of Blarney Castle...like the fascinating Poison Garden which contains growing examples of the British Isles most deadly plants with matching descriptions (where’s Felicity Kendal?). The garden contains Wolfsbane, Foxglove, Oleander and intriguingly Box Hedge (which was used to prevent Witches from entering your property). Other ground highlights included the secreted Fern Garden and Horses Cemetery and the intricate Rock Walk which contains within it the Wishing Steps, a Druid sacrificial alter and the creepy Witches Kitchen...a ruin of an old Witches resident.

The final stop for this day was the fortification of the Rock of Cashel, a castle ruin that sits atop a limestone crag in the village of Cashel. Unfortunately most of this site is covered in scaffolding as much of the ruin is being repaired however it did provide some striking examples of the Celtic cross which sat haphazardly in the graveyard of the grounds.
Next Stop: Limerick and Galway (via the Cliffs of Moher).

Ambling across the Accursed Field

Adieu Cardiff...but one last stop on the way out of the Welsh capital would mean that I’d completed all the “must do’s” on my list – St Fagan’s Natural History Museum. For £3.50 this could be Cardiff’s best kept secret. Approximately 10 minutes outside of Cardiff and attached to the cute little village of St Fagan’s the Natural History Museum is a replica village of transplanted house types from throughout Wales. Painstakingly reconstructed ancient stone houses, old timber barns and the 16th century castle and manor house make this is a credible and interesting snapshot of Wales’ yesteryear. Unfortunately for us it was school holidays and as the Museum has no entry fee (just the £3.50 for parking and 30 pence for the map) the site was inundated with families escaping Cardiff and wanting a picnic in the beautiful spring sun. Undeterred by the throngs of families we set off across the fields and our first stop was the castle. St Fagan’s Castle was everything we wanted Cardiff Castle to be – room after room of life as is was back in the 16th and 17th centuries with fully furnished bedrooms laden with lush tapestries to the fascinating kitchen with its massive ovens. The other big highlight was a stunning reconstruction of an ancient Celtic village. This was a definite highlight of the trip so far. With St Fagan’s behind us it was my mission to a) get Mum and Dad ambling across some fields and b) to investigate the less visited ancient burial chambers of Tinkinswood and St Lythan’s (both of which are reportedly over 6000 years old). Winding down a single lane road bordered by massive green hedges (hello Midsummer territory) we stumbled across St Lythan’s. A quick stroll across the open field, which we later discovered was known as the Accursed Field, we were presented with the burial chamber sitting centrally on the field like a kind of ancient outhouse. St Lythan’s is the smaller of the two chambers but thought to be an ancient Druid altar where all sorts of dark mischief occurred. A short jaunt down the road and we were on another field and ambling toward the Tinkinswood burial chamber. This is the more impressive site with a massive 36 tonne capstone roofing the chamber. The chambers were buried for thousands of years before excavations in the early 1900’s uncovered these massive tombs from the early Bronze Age. Being the only visitors to the site that afternoon it was eerie and intimate experience – although it appears there’s a lot of night-time activity at the site (with the used tea candles sprinkled throughout the chamber evidence of the locals trying to resurrect Robert Pattinson).
Leaving the Accursed Fields behind us it was onto the small seaside town of Tenby in Wales’ west – a cute walled city and a popular destination for holidaying locals. Staying at the Giltar Hotel (www.giltar.co.uk), currently undergoing a major upgrade, we were housed in two of the refurbished rooms with Mum and Dad’s suite having incredible views of the bay. Tenby’s seascape is dominating by St Catherine’s Island (which can only be reached for exploration at low tide from the sands of Castle Beach) and my inner Famous Fiver was immediately alerted to its mysterious potential. Time and tide did not allow us a Julian, Dick and Anne moment but as a kid this would be a place that would have exploded my imagination with the ideas of pirate treasure, sea monsters and ghosts trapped in the sea mist.
After a good night’s sleep in our cute rooms and with another good B&B breakfast consumed (Dad’s loving the 3 course breakfast...Mum’s not loving Dad’s love of the 3 course breakfast) and we were farewelling Tenby all too early and making our way to Fishguard and the ferry to Ireland...

Next Stop: Waterford and Cork, Ireland.

Cardiff: Closed for Business until May 2011

Another stunning brekkie in our bellies (courtesy of the friendly staff at Oldfields B&B) we left picturesque Bath behind us ensuring that Wendy was kept dormant in her Sat Nav cradle and weaved through the gorgeous sun-dappled English countryside on route to Cardiff, Wales.

But before we hit the Welsh capital we diverted up toward Monmouth and the stunning ruins of Tintern Abbey, the most intact medieval abbey in all of Britain. Arriving midmorning the stunning beams of warm sunlight showcased the haunting ruins in all their dilapidated glory. Dating back to 1131 the abbey is gasp-inducing and your entry fee allows you to wander unaided and un-audio-toured around the grounds and amble in and out of the stone skeleton. From the incredible grandeur of the tracery which contained the incredible west windows to the soaring Gothic arches that hint at the spectacle that this abbey was when fully functioning this is a haunting, sombre and incredibly powerful place. One of the best stops we’ve had so far.

A quick cup of tea was in order so sitting at the local tea house with the ruins to our back we watched the local cross-country runners come into the finish line positioned on the oval next to the tea house. How quaint...and somehow quintessentially British.

Back into the Volvo (with Wendy still off) we made our way to Raglan Castle, a smidge outside of the township of Raglan, by snaking along the road next to the Wye river. We appeared to be accompanied by half of the Welsh population but they were all on foot - with the weather so good the walkers were out in big numbers traipsing the lush green countryside with their families and in many cases (multiple) dogs in tow. Raglan Castle was the last to be built in Wales around the 15th and 16th centuries and is dominated by the Great Tower, a hexagonal keep surrounded by a moat. Scaling the heights of the Great Tower you get an excellent view of the castle ruins and the surrounding fields blossoming in swathes of yellow canola flowers. Another great stop and an excellent companion site to Tintern Abbey. All of a sudden it was 2pm and lunch beckoned and here was where we made our first mistake...

Tip 1: Don’t stop in Newport on a Sunday (this working port town might be nice enough on a weekday but it’s a closed shop on a Sunday). So onto Cardiff we went. Unfortunately our hotel, The Royal Hotel, in the heart of Cardiff city centre is also smack bang in the middle of a huge road/pedestrian mall conversion. A couple of wrong turns (including a one way street in the wrong direction), an incorrect entrance faux par and a massive drive and hike to the car park (under the Millenium Stadium) we were finally checked in and ready to stretch our collective legs. Frazzled is not the best state to set out on...and as we set off to Cardiff Bay to find the Millenium Centre we were 20 minutes into our walk when we realised we were walking in the entirely wrong direction. Lonely Planet’s Wales to the rescue and we were back on track...or so we thought, here’s where we made our 2nd mistake... Tip 2 – don’t walk down Bute St (or as we christened it...ghetto st with creepy horror church) to get to Cardiff Bay. One street over is Lloyd George Avenue a much safer option – best to take that route. On arrival at Cardiff Bay – the Millenium Centre dominates the skyline with the impressive building adorned with a spectacular bronze headwrap. This is the home of Torchwood...the Hub, Captain Jack, Weavils, Gwen and Rhys, Ianto (sniff), Toshiko (sniff) and Owen (whateva) and it’s fanboy inducing fun. Desperate for a bit of Torchwood re-enactments I found the perception filter stone but this appeared to be malfunctioning as most could see me...even photograph me (weird). And then there’ the tribute...down on the wharf of Mermaid Quay is the tribute to our favourite coffee boy Ianto Jones. A wall of the wharf is dedicated to the memory of Captain Jack’s favourite barrista with tribute messages from all over the world haphazardly pinned to the wall. Bless the whoniverse. BTW – he’s not coming back. RIP Ianto. A great dinner at the Bayside Brasserie later we were back at the hotel and playing cards in the bar. The next morning we hit Cardiff in earnest with a morning of serious shopping in the fabulous St David’s Mall. After a shaky start the day before (courtesy of a dodgy route, some bad directions and copious amounts of roadworks) Cardiff was beginning to appeal to us. Unfortunately we were a little disappointed by the much hyped Cardiff Castle, positioned at the heart of Cardiff, as we’d been spoilt the day before by the spectacular ruins we’d visited. With the Dr Who Exhibition at the Red Dragon Centre closed, the Norwegian Church at Cardiff Bay closed for renovation and Custom House also at Cardiff Bay again closed until May 2011 we realised Cardiff would re-open in May 2011 (pity we were a month early). And to top that off even though I kept feigning alien suffocation Captain Jack did not miraculously appear to provide prolonged resuscitation services. Well can’t blame Cardiff for that one I suppose... Next update: Tenby, Wales