Beware Babushki Bearing Gifts

In a year dominated by soloists the groups and duos will stand to benefit from a voting public and jury bored by ballad after ballad after ballad. There’s a decent enough crop of contenders within this category this year, and after the high placing’s for both Denmark and Georgia at last year’s competition, expect to see the a couple of these entries feature well up the leader-board at the end of this year’s country call in.

Unfortunately I’ve had to leave out the Belarusian boy band and the lisping brothers from Switzerland in my Top 5 groups or duos off to contest for the crown in Baku but here’s the best of the bunch…

5. Austria – Trackshittaz – “Woki Mit Deim Popo”

With lyrics like “Your Booty has Feelings” and “Your Booty has an Opinion” and even “Your Booty Says Something About You” the entry from Austria’s “tractor gangsta party rap” (no, I don’t know what that is either) duo will have the Azerbaijani’s looking at their rears in a whole new light. Ahhh – how many jokes about trumpeting butts will the commentators come up with on the night. This may just qualify as it’s ridiculous. Song itself is actually a bit crap (no pun intended).

Find out what you're Booty may be saying to you here...

4. Ireland – Jedward – Waterline

After coming in 8th at last year’s competition, with the high octane “Lipstick”, those Irish Ritalin requiring twin gnomes Jedward are back for another crack (sorry, this is not Austria) at the title. However, even with a songwriter who’s written for boy bands like The Wanted, the song’s just not as good as last year. That said, expect high hair, high jumps and dodgy vocals on the night. They’ll qualify, due to their huge popularity across Europe, but they had a better shot at winning with last year’s entry. The staging will need to be flash to give them any chance of beating their placing last year but there’s a lot more in this year’s competition for the voting public to get excited about. They’ll finish in the bottom (Austria again!) half of the final.

Caution: Irish ADHD twins ahead...

3. Romania – Mandinga – Zaleilah

Now it gets interesting…this is a 7 piece Romanian Cuban inspired entry and will stand out due to its unique blend of sounds. Sung in Romanian and in English this is a toe-tapper and will have the Crystal Hall in Baku swinging. Romania deserves a win and this could be one of those lurking dark horses that snare enough votes to rattle the standout entries from Sweden, Denmark and Russia. This is one of the few entries which won both the jury and public vote at its national final so it should qualify easily and may surprise by placing inside the Top 10 in the final.

2. Iceland – Greta Salome & Jonsi – Never Forget

Now here’s a dark dirge from the depths of Iceland that no-one’s going to forget on the night. Originally qualifying from Iceland’s national final in its native tongue composer, songwriter and performer Greta Salome has opted to take an English version to the competition. And it’s all the better for it. Greta and Jonsi are the competitions most attractive couple and look like they’ve stepped off of an H&M billboard. Expect lots of drama in the staging – wind machines, some floating materials and strings on-stage will be the bare minimum. Jonsi’s been here before, having already represented Iceland in the 2004 final, so when Greta cracks out the violin half way through this ditty he’ll be cracking some decent Abercrombie & Fitch style poses to accompany her fiddling. There’s nothing like this number in the competition and it will be remembered for, at least, it’s uniqueness. Iceland, criminally, have never taken home top prize and this year they’ll give the leaderboard another solid nudge and this could even go Top 5 dependent on where they perform in the final. I’m going to invest in some knitwear just in case we’ll be in Reykjavik next year.

Delve into the darkest depths of Iceland...

1. Russia - Buranovskiye Babushki – Party for Everybody

Beware a Babushki bearing gifts. Seriously, don’t take anything from them. This is a serious contender for the top prize this year. It’ll take a lot to beat Sweden’s Loreen but this group of 6 Russian grannies could just see us returning to Moscow in 2013. Having formed in 2008 the Buranovskiye Babushki, who’s eldest member is 77, have performed all over Europe covering songs from Queen and the Beatles and shared the stage with the likes of Jose Carreras. The song’s catchy, they’re as cute as kittens and they I’ve already shocked many when they took out former Eurovision winner Dima Bilan at their national final to win the chance to represent Russia in Baku. Block country voting aside, this entry will take home either Silver or Gold and it will probably come down to where Sweden and Russia perform in the final. If either country is drawn in the top quarter (with the UK’s Mr Humperdinck) that’ll be enough to relegate them to second – that’s how close it is this year.

Check Out the Go-Go Grannies...