All Roads Lead to Oslo (as the airports may be closed)

Yes, it’s that time of year again…where a killer key change, a swathe of slinky backing singers or a unexpected costume reveal could lead you on the road to Eurovision glory. Even with Europe in financial turmoil this little song competition marches into its 55th year and even with the threat of Volcanic ash potentially closing down more European airports the show will go on.

Hold onto your mirror-balls here are my predictions for Eurovision 2010.

My Top 3

Denmark – In a Moment Like This – Chanee &N’Evergreen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPzXy-iHVgA&feature=related

This duo could easily take top place this year – it’s got everything a little pop gem needs. Both leads are glam Eurovision perfection – the male appears to be the love child of Michael Bolton and Owen Wilson and the female looks like she’s stepped off the set of the defunct Cashmere Mafia. The set is reminiscent of Perfect Match or Blind Date – who does not love a slide away reveal? And did I mention the key change…wanna know, wanna know, wanna know….if we’re off to Copenhagen in 2011. Definite Top 3 finish.

Norway – My Heart is Yours – Didrik Solli-Tangen

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=eurovision#p/u/69/B7cf9IVvovE

The return of the fiddle…there’s 5 in this act. According to the official Eurovision website Didrik was born on a summer day in the town of Porsgrunn …not sure what this has to do with anything but the boy can sing. He’s an attractive early twenty-something SuBo. The song takes a little while to warm up but when it does it’s GOLD. If Alexander Rybak can win Eurovision with his fiddle the immensely cuter Didrik could walk away with the top honours with this Disneyesque ballad & his five fiddlers. A return trip to Oslo could well be on the cards. Top 5.

Slovakia – Horehronie – Kristina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kghCqyMLPFA&feature=related

This is one of my personal favourites. This Slovakian wood nymphette is radiant as she emerges from hiding behind her backing dancers that are dressed as trees…ahhh, only in Eurovision. The song is boppy and Estonia’s entry last year proved that you can place highly singing in your own language. + the pronunciation of the title could be construed as something a little naughty in English. Bless! She’ll qualify for the final. I’m hoping for a Top 10 finish.

The Bookies Favourites

Germany – Satellite - Lena

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QSgNM9yNjo

This is odds on to take the top prize – which would be huge considering Germany has languished in the bottom quarter of the results for the best part of the last decade or so. I’m not convinced though…apparently she’s Germany’s version of Lily Allen (is that a good thing?) but the song is not engaging. I’d love for Eurovision to return to the homeland but I need a bit more convincing before I jump on the Lena bandwagon. It’s a huge hit in Europe already so it’ll poll and place Top 5 at worst. Berlin for 2011?

Azerbaijan – Drip Drop – Safura

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU4AVBHjXgU&feature=related

Drip Drop? Yep, that’s the name of Azerbaijan’s entry. This entry will definitely poll well but to be the shared odds on favourite to win is a bit rich. She’s cute but the song is…well…wet. Apparently she’s also been rehearsing with a lot of material (actual textiles) so she may be going for spectacle over substance. Not sure what happened to the backing dancers shirts either? Must still be in the laundry.

Israel – Milim – Harel Skaat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GelsXCyV5Nk&feature=related

Another SuBo ballad by another pretty boy…ho hum. The punters like this but I think that it’ll suffer from not being in English when there are other ballads this year just as good that most will understand. Two things worry me – he struggles toward the end of the song which could spell Eurovision disaster and I’m also worried about the overuse of pancake on his face – he looks a bit like a ventriloquist’s doll.

The Outsiders

Iceland – Je Ne Sais Quoi – Hera Bjork

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6dpooV4tlQ&feature=channel

Probably the most commercial entry in this years competition and with a ridiculous amount of ballads in this years line up Iceland’s Hera Bjork’s dancefloor anthem could poll well. The one obstacle that stands in her way – that pesky volcanic eruption. Europe may hold her personally responsible for the upheaval and steer clear of this good entry. We’re lucky Yohanna only came 2nd last year as no-one would be getting into Reykjavik for this year’s final if it were to be held there.

Greece – Opa! – Giorgos Alkaios & Friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-v8OPJ7lU&feature=channel

Another entry that may suffer due to the difficult situation the representative country finds itself in. Lots of lads in leather bleeting out “yaous” and “haaas” does go a long way even if the lead singer is the most unattractive of the bunch. The intro to this clip is a hilarious minute montage of the backing singers preparing themselves for what could only be a singing rumble. If you think they’re “woofing” I think you may be right. Grrrrr! Top 10 finish.

Armenia – Apricot Stone – Eva Rivas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buGOZExVf8o&feature=related

“Many, many years ago when I was a little child”…I think she must be about to sing about fruit. Yes – she is, “apricot stone’s in the frozen ground” and something about hidden in the ground from the motherland. Well, a bit of Armenian pride on show here. She’ll qualify for the final and if she can sing live she may find herself in the Top 10 thanks to the remnants of her stone fruit. BTW – she’s a hand grasper so watch for lots of air grabs on stage.

Nul Point?

UK – That Sounds Good to Me – Josh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8363R9XbGY&feature=channel

No it does not. One word. Awful. Pete Waterman wrote this – he should be shot. It’s like a rejected song from Sinita or Sonia. God, the UK are fortunate to have direct entry into the final. Josh can only hope that Heathrow will be closed due to the Volcanic ash cloud and he can avoid taking the stage.

Estonia – Siren – Malcolm Lincoln

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEcNfmuF4YA&feature=channel

One of my favourite European countries comes a cropper. Did they forget this was Eurovision? This is too left of centre for the Eurovision audience to embrace. A risky choice that won’t pay off. I bet you stop the clip at a smidge after the first minute. It’s a great film clip though.

Hand Grasp End.
Fin!