Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Speaking Gibberish to a Gypsy



After another breathtaking train ride - this time from Munich to Ljubljana via Salzburg - where I was granted a gorgeous cloudless day allowing the Austrian Alps to twinkle in snow peaked glory. Furry cows, furry chickens, furry goats...it appears everyone and everything in Austria adopts a furry coat. The train ride was impressive - on time, not crowded and with very, very clean cabins. Go the DB.


On arrival into Ljubljana night had already fallen and, on advice from an individual at the train station, I decided to walk to my hotel. BAD MOVE. Half way through the 6km walk I had flashbacks to a time when I'd forced Mum and Dad to walk from the Banff train station to our hotel. Oh Well - it appears I'll never learn. Ankle was not happy post the walk - so it's now strapped tightly.


Undetered by the location of the hotel (although it is very comfortable) the next morning I trudged back into the heart of Ljubljana's Altstadt. And there's only one way to describe it. Stunning. Ljubljana has one of the most attractive and interesting Old Towns I've seen. Guarded by the massive Ljubljana Castle atop a small hill Ljubljana old town skirts around the base of the hill like children under their mother's skirt. The Old Town itself is heaving with interesting shops and cafes and contains a colourful fruit and flower market in one of the Trg's. It is here that you will find the fabuolous milk vending machine with fresh Moo Juice all day. Little knooks, hidden behind massive oak doors or gaurded by impressive wrought iron gates, contain interesting shops so it's worth taking time to amble Ljubljana's cobblestoned streets to ensure you don't miss things like the Honey Shop (dedicated to all things honey) or Gourmet Chocolate shop.





Tip #1: Buy a Ljubljana Card.
It's 12.50 Euro and gets you into all of the Mueseums and Art Galleries for free and allows you free bus fares around the city. Well worth it.


Jumping on the funicular to Ljubljana Castle is a must as the cities panorama is best viewed in ascent. I think my jaw may have dropped at one point. The Castle itself is a very orchestrated affair - renovated to within an inch of its life. Accessing the Viewing Tower also gets you a short 20 minute 3D movie history of Slovenia and Ljubljana, equip with English Headset and Professor Finkle glasses, before then allowing you to ascend the spiral staircase to the tower. The views here are breathtaking - just hope for a clear day.


On my way out of Ljubljana Castle and back to the funicular I had my first encounter with a Gypsy (said with a Borat accent).


Tip #2: Speak Gibberish to a Gypsy to Fool them

The evil gypsy, in the guise of a young woman with odd Hello Kitty clips in her hair, appeared from the wood calling for help. At first I ignored the calls of the evil one and continued to walk toward the safety of the Funicular. However, her calling was too strong and I turned briefly in her direction and she knew she had. Scuttling her over-clothed body along the gravel path she advanced in my direction. I stood silently looking at the evil before me and steeled myself for battle. She opened her mouth to speak and in broken English she began "Excuse me...I'm sorry...I have problem". Knowing of the tricks of the gypsy where their stories of woe extract Euro from your wallet I allowed her to prattle on about a "sickness" and a "train ride to Munich" and "how she is stuck in Ljubljana". It is then that it dawns upon me - I have not yet spoken to her and she thinks I'm an English speaker. It is then that I commence speaking to her in the lost language of Zeiherese, a very rare language that only myself and my sister Jennifer had spoken when we were children, and almost forgotten. Immediately the gypsy showed confusion and a weakness was revealed. I continued with my garbled gibberish language however being a strong gypsy she was undetered and attempted German with me. I continued with my ploy not allowing her words to penetrate my ears. Her third attempt to extract money from me commenced with hand gestures and it was with this I knew she was defeated. Using the universal hand gesture of "I don't know" I turned my back on her and strode toward the Funicular. The gypsy was defeated and vanquished back into the forest from which she had come. Although this trick has worked once with a gypsy I will not resolve to continue to use this as my only defence.


Tip #3: Tivoli Garden & Park is not a Park it's a WOOD and you need to be wearing hiking shoes if you're going to walk it (and allow yourself at least 2 hours to do the loop).





Eurovision Rating: Early judges favourite with a solid Euro-Pop outing with a catchy chorus from a single female. Not one but 2 key changes, costume reveal and scantily clad male backing dancers. Qualifies for Final. Top 5 finish.


Next Haltestellar: Bled, Slovenia.









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